Alexander The Big Waste Of Time & Money

It’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve posted, right? It’s probably a mixture of reasons for it. Lots of personal stuff going on. Top that with I’m lazy and you a recipe for no posts. Where should I begin? I think I’ll keep away from the personal stuff for now since I’m still at work and let ya know about the movie I saw last night. Believe me, though. I have a lot of personal stuff to say, so look for an update soon.

So I’m driving to the theater and am thinking to myself, there’s no way Oliver Stone could make a bad movie, right? The reviews for Alexander have been pretty bad, but I mean, it’s Oliver freakin’ Stone. There’s no way it could be as bad as everyone is saying, right? Wrong. This is 3 hours of my life I will never be able to get back and I’m pissed about it. I would say about 95% of the flick is dialog heavy. Most of it is just long monologs with close-ups of the actor’s faces. Boring, boring, boring! The other 5% are the action sequences and they are mediocre at best. The battles that should be huge and breathtaking seem very confined and underwhelming. You can basically tell it’s 50 or so people on a stage with digital enhancements all over the place. Even with the laundry list of great movies on his resume, it’s obvious Stone is still not capable of directing such an epic story. Want to get into the acting real quick? Ok. Everyone was bad. Colin Farrell is much better than this. Val Kilmer is too. Angelina Jolie, what a joke. She has never fooled me. Hopefully everyone will see this and her last five flicks and finally understand how terrible of an actress she really is. Now, there were two shinning moments in Alexander that just couldn’t be missed and they both come courtesy of miss Rosario Dawson. No, I’m not talking about her acting and screen presence. Those get lumped in with everyone else’s. I’m talking about what I believe is her first nude scene ever and it’s spectacular. (BTW, anyone have pics?) Is it enough to save the flick? Absolutely not! Do yourself a favor and spend those 3 hours picking lint out of your belly button. Compared to viewing Alexander, it’s time very well spent.